


Marilyn Monroe Didn't Die For This

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 03:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15698901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Tony's on an engineering binge when he gets an interesting wrong number call.





	Marilyn Monroe Didn't Die For This

Tony answered the phone automatically, forgetting to check the caller id because he was seventeen hours and five pots of coffee into an engineering binge. He said hello, but whoever was on the other end of the line talked over him.    
  
"What the fuck Gamora? Do you want to tell me exactly why I'm in a fucking Marilyn Monroe steam grate dress?" the very male voice asked angrily. "You know what? I don't even want to hear it, I'm sure I'll find this hilarious once I get some actual sleep and don't have a hangover. Actually? I'm not even mad about the dress, although I do want to know what the fuck you did with my clothes because that is my favorite jacket and if it's lost or destroyed in any way, you're buying me a new one. Do you know how hard that's going to be? I found that thing at a thrift shop when I was eight good fucking luck finding one just like it. It's going to be impossible; I know, I've tried. Also you don't get to be mad about me waking you up, because I had to steal someone else's phone to call you, and I don't have my keys. ...Huh. I didn't think I'd get this far in my rant, you usually cut me off by now. Did you answer the phone but not pick it up? Cause that's just mean, greeny."    
  
"Uh," Tony said eloquently. "I think you have the wrong number."    
  
"...oh. Sorry dude, did I wake you up?"    
  
"Nah I was already up."    
  
"Who wakes up at five in the morning? That can't be healthy."    
  
"I didn't go to sleep last night."    
  
"Oh. Equally unhealthy. Bad random person, you need sleep."    
  
"I'm the one at home, and you're the one in a dress that you didn't show up to the party with. I think I win all arguments by default. My name's Tony, by the way."    
  
"In my defense Tony, Drax is the one that told me humans need sleep to survive, I'm not sure I believe him."    
  
"What, I don't get your name? Just two of your friends?" He picked up his coffee cup and drank the rest of the mostly-cold liquid. "That's cold Marilyn, real cold."    
  
"Marilyn Monroe didn't die for you to desecrate her name like this."    
  
"I don't think that's what desecrate means. Also you could avoid this by telling me your name."    
  
He sighed over dramatically. "Peter."    
  
"Peter? That's pretty normal for such a wild child."    
  
"You don't know if I'm a wild child or not."    
  
"You got black out drunk, to the point that your friend was able to strip you down and change all your clothes, and you knew exactly who to call. I mean, you got the number wrong, but this clearly isn't the first time they've done this to you."    
  
"Touche."    
  
"Eh, I'm really not one to talk."    
  
"You are alone and awake at five in the morning bro."    
  
Tony wrinkled his nose. "For the love of god, do not call me 'bro' again."    
  
"Why?"    
  
"I demand originality in my nicknames. 'Bro' is a cop out, and if we're going to be friends, you have to accept that. Considering what your friends' names are, I think you'll be on board with that."    
  
"Are we friends now?"    
  
"For this level of blackmail material, we have to be. This is how all great friendships start."    
  
"Hmm. How about when I get my phone back I send you a picture of me in this dress and you decide if you want more than a new friend? Cause I look pretty damn fine, if I do say so myself."    
  
"Would your friends say the same?"    
  
"Depends on which ones you ask. Gamora's still mad at me for that time I grinded on her at a party, so she's not likely to say anything good, but all the others might be fine. Mantis is nice, she'll talk your ear off about me if I ask."    
  
Tony snorted, begrudgingly charmed when he usually hated any sort of human interaction during an engineering binge. "Yeah, you do that Marilyn possibly Peter. Good luck with your friend."    
  
"Thanks Tony," he said, laughing. "Get some sleep if you want."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr [@cami-chats](http://cami-chats.tumblr.com)


End file.
